how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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