I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
