So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
