too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sober January is a disaster.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
