you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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