saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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