Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
