loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
