Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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