Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
