Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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