Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
