he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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