Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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