Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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