we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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