He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
