I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
