Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
