I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
