I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
