We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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