So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
