Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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