I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
