Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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