My hand turned me down
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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