when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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