so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
