who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
