Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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