I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
