who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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