Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize