they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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