i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
this must be what syphilis tastes like
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
