I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize