I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
