Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
