I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
