so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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