Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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