Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
