aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
