You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
