she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize