Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
