I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
