i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
