It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She is in my trunk
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Someone shattered a urinal.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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