I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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