i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
