In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
