There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
