I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
