Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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