What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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