i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
