So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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