I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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