Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
