I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
