He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
