I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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