i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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