i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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