just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
