I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The Olympian is in my bed
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