I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize