Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
