Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize