What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
