I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
