What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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