you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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