Porn is love you can see.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
