you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
